hit me baby one more time

As I look around and see the ever growing accumulation of stuff and the ever lessening role of integrity and values, I wonder what example we are setting for a children. Does our future hold hope, or are we doomed to have history repeat itself?

About a week ago, I was flying to Seattle and had the pleasure of sitting next to a woman and her four year old, very well behaved, child. After a while, the conversation turned to our shared beliefs about the environment. She shared with me that she had just read an article in which it outlined, that when she and I were growing up, it cost approximately $100K to raise a child from infancy through college. In contrast, today’s estimates are that it will cost anywhere from $300K to $500K to raise a child. Yes, I will agree that part of this increase is due to the cost of living increase. But, I wonder what percentage is due to the marketing campaign targeted at children.

When I was growing up things were so much different; I was not allowed to watch television unless it was educational, I had to go OUTSIDE to play, I had a clothing allowance, I had chores, my mom made lunch everyday and dinner every night (or tried to make dinner, if you know my mom)… and, I will note she was a single mom who at one time had two jobs while taking post graduate classes. I was blessed with a mother who was able to put me through private high school, and paid for my entire college education without me having to take out a student loan. We lived in one house; the one in which she still lives and is fully paid off. She’s had three nice cars. She wears Marc Jacobs and Cynthia Vincent. She’s up on all the latest Apple computers, iPods, and iPhones. And, she did this all on a Los Angeles high school teachers salary.

The only reason I bring this up is because I keep observing how children are raised, today. I do not have a child, and I can only imagine the joys and difficulties of having one. I feel as though parents and children are being marketed to so heavily to continue our consumerism without regard for the impact on the psychology of the individual or the detriment of our environment.

I intend to do a post about the fashion industry at a later date, but, as one example, just consider the clothing that is available to children now. There are a plethora of stores that didn’t exist before that specifically caters to the fashion of a child. When I was growing up we bought clothes twice a year. One time before school started and one time in the spring. We bought clothes that lasted and had a purpose; play clothes versus dress clothes. It was not the thing to go “hang out” at the mall. We wore clothes until they wore out and then we patched them up and gave them to someone to wear out even more. An $80 shirt… if such a thing existed….paid for itself based on the amount of times we wore it, dirtied it up, washed it and wore it again. Today, and $80 shirt for a TODDLER is the norm… thank you Gwen Stefani and James Pearse. I can only imagine that it is worn one time, before the child spits up on it and ruins it or it is out of style a month later. And the fact that we so easily purchase such items without thought is… shaming.

I used to have a clothing allowance. In order to have money go towards that allowance, I had to do chores. Serious chores. I was in charge of cleaning the house and doing the cooking. Once I EARNED the money, I could decide to spend the $25 on one item of that price, or I could save it over time to buy an item that was more expensive. This allowance did not include school clothes, which was a uniform, and it did not include important event clothes like weddings, prom, or graduation. Needless to say, it taught me the value of a dollar. Today I look at children who have closets and closets full of clothes that are trendy or cool and have no longevity.

Another example of the industry of children is toys. Have you ever looked around and seen all the toys that children have? There are trucks, Barbie’s, buckets and shovels, action figures, yo-yo’s, dolls, and I don’t know what else. They have created furniture to house and store all of the toys children accumulate. First, we can discuss the psychology behind the supposed need for these toys. Is it really too dangerous to play outside or is that just the propagation of fear? What is the need for a child to have a toy for the beach? This toy will more than likely be used, maybe, twice, before the child grows out of it. Not to mention that it is interesting to me that you buy a toy when the beach, itself, is a toy. With creativity, tenacity, teamwork and good old labor, a sand castle can be built without a plastic bucket. And aren’t those same skills important to learn if you want to be a functioning member of society?

I can list many other examples of useless toys, or clothes, and site many examples where I could counter, that without either of the above, the child may be better off. So, I ask again, what are we teaching our children? First, disposability. When we buy things and allow our children to use them a very limited amount of time, we are saying it is okay to throw away useful goods. And, more importantly, we are telling manufacturers that they can keep making and marketing new ideas to us because we don’t support the concept of longevity anymore. There was a time when if you bought a television, you expected that television to last a very long time. And, guess what? It did! We demanded, industry supplied. Now, we are told to want cool, fast, hot, and cheap. We are letting the manufacturers tell us what to do, instead of the other way around. Why is it that we don’t let anyone else control what we do, unless it comes to consumer goods? An interesting point was offered in “Deep Economy” by Bill Mckibben. We have stopped trying to keep up the Jones’. Now, we try to keep up with the Hilton’s, the Lohan’s, the Simpson’s and the Richie’s. But, if you actually sat down and spent time with your neighbors, you would find out we are all pretty much in the same place.

Which brings me to my second point of what we are teaching our children; credit. Why did I bring up, earlier, all that information about my mom and her spending habits? I want to illustrate a point that my mother taught me. She does not buy anything that she doesn’t have the means to buy. She is not in debt. She actually has a nearly perfect… yep, PERFECT… credit score. She spends time evaluating what she needs versus what she wants. If she wants something, she determines where she has to sacrifice. She doesn’t pay the minimum on her credit card bill, she pays the whole thing. Unfortunately, I didn’t listen to her. I am a child of a generation that was marketed to, heavily. I thought why not buy something that I can afford in “three easy payments” cause I want it “NOW!”. I have learned my lesson and I am trying to remedy it by being a more active and aware consumer. I have written about it before, but I think a huge disservice to our country is that concept of credit and buying what we can’t afford. It has put us in a place where, because of our purchasing “power”, we are dependent on fossil fuels, we are supporting mass manufacturing in countries other than our own, and we have to work forever in order to pay off our debt.

My third, and last, point with the issue of the industry of children is that we are hurting the environment. You knew I was going to get here, eventually. But, seriously, think of all the toys that all the children on this planet own. Some of those toys have never been touched, some are trash because they broke upon opening the package, while some did an effective job of entertaining and educating the child for a long time. Most toys, I would venture to guess, upwards of 90% are made of plastic. Plastic is made using fossil fuels. But, more importantly, it never, ever decomposes. Never, ever. It never goes back to the soil and replenishes what we have taken. It sits in a landfill, while everything else around it is going back to the earth, plastic sits and waits. Oh, and let’s not forget to mention, it’s TOXIC!! So we are teaching our children to be in debt for the rest of their lives, to throw away whatever they don’t want anymore, to not care about the environment, and oh yeah, we are poisoning them!

So if you have or want a child, I urge you to look at what even the smallest of actions is teaching them. You may think it is harmless, but your child is learning from you. Your child looks up to you and looks to you for direction. Don’t you want to be the best person you can, so your child can be the best person they can?

p.s. I love you, Mom.