Imagine leading a room full of high-powered executives where one wrong word could derail a multimillion-dollar deal— that's the high-wire act of true leadership, and after three decades in the trenches, I've boiled down exceptional 'people skills' to just six essential strategies. It's akin to mastering a strategic game of chess on the human stage.
For more than 30 years, I've held key leadership roles in major corporations, such as The Coca-Cola Company, Hershey, and Ralston Purina. Through it all, I've come to realize that while the content of your message is important, the delivery—your tone, timing, and empathy—holds even greater power in influencing outcomes.
One of the most intense professional development sessions I ever led took place in Moscow, where I had to bridge deep cultural divides, navigate heated political debates (as explored in this CNBC article on workplace politics: https://www.cnbc.com/2023/11/09/employees-want-to-talk-about-politics-at-work-but-it-comes-with-risks.html), and deflect surprising personal criticisms (drawing from expert advice on handling rudeness: https://www.cnbc.com/2025/05/01/use-this-5-word-response-to-shut-down-rude-behavior-says-public-speaking-expert.html). The goal? Forging a solid alliance between international teams under immense pressure.
That challenging episode drove home a vital truth: Outstanding leadership thrives on skillful diplomacy, particularly in those tense moments when discussions stall, feelings intensify, or situations veer into awkward territory. This is precisely when robust interpersonal abilities shine, turning potential conflicts into opportunities for connection.
Drawing from my extensive experience, here are the six actionable practices I consistently use to sharpen my people skills. These apply whether I'm resolving disputes, mentoring groups, or cultivating trust in diverse global settings. For beginners stepping into leadership, think of these as your foundational toolkit—simple yet profound ways to communicate more effectively.
- Pause and reflect before opening your mouth
A mentor once shared this gem with me: 'Not every thought buzzing in your head deserves to be voiced.' Over time, I've adopted the habit of truly listening to others first, allowing their words to resonate, and then thoughtfully crafting my reply. In some cases, silence speaks volumes—it's often wiser to hold back than to react impulsively. Picture it like sealing a tube of toothpaste; once those unfiltered ideas slip out, they're tough to retract. This approach prevents misunderstandings and keeps conversations productive, especially for new leaders who might feel the urge to fill every silence.
- Select your language with precision
Crafting the perfect reply rarely happens on the spot. It's much like strategizing in chess: You anticipate several steps forward, weighing the potential ripple effects of your words and envisioning the desired resolution. The ancient Chinese thinker Lao-Tzu wisely advised, 'Respond intelligently, even to unintelligent treatment.' By previewing how your statement might land, you can tailor it to de-escalate or inspire. For instance, in a team meeting, instead of snapping back at a critique, you might reframe it positively to build alliance—helping novices see how foresight turns defense into dialogue.
But here's where it gets controversial... Some argue that overthinking responses can stifle authenticity in leadership. Do you think calculated words dilute genuine connection, or are they essential for navigating modern workplaces? I'd love to hear your take in the comments.
- Maintain your composure under pressure
Unexpected curveballs are inevitable in any interaction, so cultivating calm is key. Start by pinpointing your personal triggers—those topics or behaviors that spark irritation, defensiveness, or frustration. Rather than firing back aggressively, opt for a poised and empathetic demeanor. You can lead as a steadying force during turmoil by employing techniques like deep breathing to center yourself, briefly hesitating before replying, or engaging in active listening to validate others' views. This not only diffuses tension but models emotional intelligence for your team, making it easier for entry-level managers to handle their first crises without escalating them.
- Pay attention to your unspoken signals
Experts in psychology emphasize that a whopping 93% of our exchanges hinge on nonverbal cues and vocal inflections, leaving just 7% to the actual words we choose (as detailed in this ACM Ubiquity piece: https://ubiquity.acm.org/article.cfm?id=2043156). Others pick up on your facial expressions, pitch of voice, and posture like an open book. A genuine smile or a gentler tone can transform a neutral comment into something welcoming. For those new to public speaking or meetings, practice in front of a mirror: Notice how crossed arms might signal defensiveness, while open gestures invite collaboration—small tweaks that amplify your impact.
And this is the part most people miss: In our digital age of emails and Zoom calls, nonverbal cues still dominate through camera angles and emojis. How do you adapt these skills virtually?
- Embrace and value varied viewpoints
In leadership, acknowledging that everyone brings unique opinions to the table is non-negotiable. Dive deeper by posing open-ended questions and absorbing responses without jumping to judgment. Hunt for shared values amid differences—you might uncover fresh insights that reshape your own thinking. Reflecting on how colleagues viewed historical figures in my network, I gained entirely new angles on familiar narratives that enriched my approach. For beginners, this means shifting from 'winning' arguments to fostering inclusive discussions, like in diverse teams where cultural backgrounds influence ideas.
- Prioritize forging connections
Across many societies, including in Russia, nurturing personal bonds often precedes tackling business objectives. Invest time in gaining confidence and touching hearts before extending a formal invitation to partner. This involves casual chats over coffee or shared experiences that build genuine rapport, paving the way for sustained achievements. My Moscow adventure illustrated how trust underpins fruitful teamwork, sometimes emerging from the most unforeseen or uneasy exchanges. To expand on this for newcomers: Think of it as planting seeds—consistent, low-pressure interactions yield loyalty that withstands challenges.
Subtly controversial here: While relationship-building is praised in Western business books, critics say it can blur professional boundaries or slow progress in fast-paced environments. Is 'soft' networking a luxury we can't afford, or the secret sauce of success? Share your experiences below—I'd be thrilled to spark a debate!
Preston Poore (https://prestonpoore.com/) brings three decades of executive guidance from Fortune 500 giants like The Coca-Cola Company, The Hershey Company, and Ralston Purina. He established Preston Poore & Associates to empower leaders in accelerating their development with sharper insights. As a Certified Maxwell Leadership Team Speaker, he also hosts the engaging P3Podcast (https://prestonpoore.com/podcasts/) and penned the insightful book 'How Is Greater Than What: Master the Growth and Leadership Skill Everyone Else Ignores' (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FP57C3QJ).
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